Hope a lot of you were able to catch the “Damage Control” that just occurred on Ryan’s radio show on KIIS-FM. It was almost as bad as last night’s mess. WTG, AI!!
McLovin: Yikes, Liz Lemon. High or just plain dopey? Nope, not adding to the speculation about Jason. Talking about Paula. And now we can add prescient to Paula’s never-ending list of qualities. She felt Jason’s second song lacked his typical charm. After they’d only performed once. Did she lose her spot on her script? Thank God Randy was able to keep his place on the page long enough to remind us that it’s a SINGING competition (no it’s not.) I’m voting my ass off anyway, but I want Jason as far away from these sleazy, slimy, lying, disgusting, underhanded fuckwads as he can get.
Also, good comment of yours in the Live Chat thread:
How could that not throw you off to be told BEFORE you sing that you’re going to get thrown under the bus?
Liz Lemon: Train wreck from start to finish. The judges I mean. When I heard they weren’t going to judge the first performance, I did a little fist punch of glee into the air because no judges means no rolling over on the poor boy. But of course they couldn’t rely on us to use our good judgment and vote how we feel, so they have to at least get a few words in. Randy? OMG dawg. He just rattled off a list of his favorite phrases. I can’t wait to watch that back on YouTube because it was a total caricature of himself. Without irony. But the clincher was when, AFTER telling Jason that he’s not vocally in the race, he totally COMPLIMENTS Brooke on her vocal imperfections. My head turned around like I was possessed. WHAT? NOW you get the virtues of a “flawed” performance? Nah-ah! I am so not buying your bullshit tonight, dawg.
And that’s just Randy. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around what happened with Paula. Either the show is taped and they had the judges give their first and second comments back to back and Paula forgot the plan – in which case, wouldn’t they just stop the tape and start over? Or else it’s live, and Paula saw the rehearsals or some video of the rehearsals. Except it has been documented this season that Paula isn’t in her chair except for the few minutes that the kids perform and appears at the very last minute possible at the start of the show. So that leaves us with a really disconcerting possibility – is someone feeding Paula her lines?
And supposing we were watching this chronologically – exactly WHAT is Jason to make of being told he’s about to sing like shit? There are too many reasons to be livid about this to count. The one that upsets me the most is how it affects Jason emotionally and mentally. Everything else is just show. But if they touched one aspect of that boy’s soul, they’re going to have an army of Castrocopians on their asses. Don’t fuck with the pants.
And yeah, despite my reservations, I went on and voted like there was no tomorrow because as much as I want Jason far from these charlatains, I can’t read Jason’s mind to know what he wants. I’m still waiting for that quiet email one day that tells me to stop fomenting the masses and just let Jason’s tenure on idol go gently into that good night. And I will.
But heavens to murgatroid, McLovin, what the fuck?
McLovin: Can’t even compute what the fuck, Liz Lemon. Not even a little bit. And we WERE watching it chronologically per EW’s Adam B. Vary’s report from the studio. But Fox is spinning it already, although they probably should have had a quick team meeting to make sure their stories matched. Was it her rehearsal notes she was reading? Did she really mean David Cook? I don’t find either explanation to be plausible, but maybe they should have decided on one of them and ran with it instead of letting them both out.
You know what, though? I find myself completely incapable of agreeing with anyone that thought Jason looked defeated last night. He knows how to shrug off their bullshit. Granted, last night was a big steaming pile of bullshit — but he STILL shrugged it off. Having watched the final judges review after September Morn repeatedly — I don’t know, Lemon. I saw a wince of disappointment on his face, to be sure, but only for a moment – right after Simon finished his speech about this not being the Jason that they put into the competition. I could and just might eventually go into a sarcasm-laden diatribe that would start with “Well, how do you suppose THAT happened, you out-of-touch, shitty-theme-night picking, Machiavellian motherfucks?” and would end with my Doc Martens up Nigel’s ass, but I’ll save that for another time.
Srsly? What I think I saw flash across Jason’s face last night? Embarrassment for them. I could be projecting — I’m embarrassed for them. But I don’t have the kind of character that could be embarrassed for them without getting any glee from it. I think Jason does.
So if he’s back next week and you haven’t received that e-mail yet, I’m voting for him like the maniac I was last night. And if he’s not back or you do get the e-mail, then my Vote For Syesha campaign is ON, fuckers. Oh, yes.
Liz Lemon: McLovin, what would I do without you? You make me laugh and you make me think. I hadn’t even considered that Jason was uncomfortable for the judges, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all. The kid has more integrity in his pinky than there is in all the people running this show together. Yeah – I just did the math on that and came up with a negative number. I worry so much about Jason being in that environment. He’s handling everything better than anyone should be expected to given the circumstances and I’m just really proud of him. You know, it’s amazing to me that this far into the competition, with such a varied group of fans, he has managed to never let his fans down. He’s a straight arrow that never wavers for those of us who get him.
And like you said, when I go back and LISTEN to the live performances, all I hear is exactly what I fell in love with in the first place. I can understand that not everyone will get Jason – the world is a vast and varied place, thank cheeses. But he wasn’t anything near the kind of suckfest that the judges portrayed it as. In fact, if you want to argue on technical singing alone, the first songs were not spot on for a single one of the other four performers. I don’t know about the last songs because frankly, I couldn’t concentrate on the show after catching a glimpse behind the curtain. My point is that in the context of last night, the criticisms they leveled at Jason could have equally been leveled at Brooke or even David Archuleta. But while David A’s vocals were all over the map, he was still loud – which elicits the questionable “the bomb” praise from Randy Iscariot. So yeah, Jason did fine last night and he should feel great about his performances.
Aside from the ramifications of Paula’s blunder, what about her message? Not fighting for the final 4? Is it just me, McLovin or does that sound to you like a “talking point”?
McLovin Total talking point, Liz Lemon. Paula rarely even speaks that coherently … we’re supposed to believe she was able to write that sentence in the dark? My ass. I watch So You Think You Can Dance. That’s how Nigel talks. And Slezak was so dead on when he said the comment was too specific to NOT be about Jason. It had all the sound bytes that everyone but Paula has spewed before – charm, not fighting (taking it seriously), blah, blah, blah.
So, fuck ’em. He’s got a huge, diverse fanbase just aching to buy his CD. If they don’t want their piece of that, fuck ’em. Right?
Liz Lemon: Right. Huge fanbase with mad love. Jason will be just fine, no question about that. AI has proven they don’t care about the music anyway. So huge FUCK YOU to ALL of them. And the bus they drove in on. They don’t deserve the pants.
Well, in case this is the end, my friend, let me just assure our readers that Castrocopia will still be here and running strong whether Jason is on AI or working in clubs around Texas or touring across country (The Travellin Pants Tour). We weren’t even here for the show anyway. It’s always been about one man and an article of clothing.
Still I want to say thanks again, McLovin, for all you’ve done to keep this blog fun and interesting. Hugs, girlfriend. *Hoping all this dramatic exit speechifying is rendered completely irrelevant tonight.*
McLovin And a guitar. Don’t forget the Breedlove. And we’re not even close to being done.